Thankful

Today is Thanksgiving in the United States (I know some of you aren't from the U.S.). It's the one day we set aside in the year to be thankful.

Of course we should be thankful every day, and we probably are, but it's good to set a day aside and truly think about the good things we have in our lives, even when our days can seem overwhelmed by bad things (which happens sometimes with cancer patients).

It's close to the end of the year, too, so it's a nice time to reflect.

For my family, this is definitely a transition year. For all of my married life (almost 27 years), my wife and I have taken ourselves and our kids to either my family's house or her family's, a trip of somewhere between 2 and 6 hours. Which has been nice. Thanksgiving is often about being with family.

My dad died last year, just over a year ago, a few weeks before Thanksgiving. My mom died about five years ago. Both from different forms of cancer. So this isn't my first Thanksgiving without them. But it's the first I've had a chance to really think about it.

My wife's mom died about two years ago. (Her dad died many years ago.) So it's not our first Thanksgiving without her, either. But there's a wedding coming up in a few weeks in my wife's family, a very happy occasion, but one that will kind of change the dynamic in some ways on her side of the family, too.

So this Thanksgiving feels a little different. Lots of change.

But that doesn't mean I don't have a lot to be thankful for. In fact, it feeling a little different this year just helps remind me of those goof things.

I'm thankful for my kids. My daughter went away to college in September, and my sons are both still in school (my oldest is almost finished). Our house has been quieter. For Thanksgiving, we'll have all of them home together for the first time in a few months. It's great to have them all here. I'm so thankful that they've grown into smart, caring people who want to help others and see some change in the world.

I'm thankful for my brother and his family. We'll be spending Thanksgiving with them. After my dad died, my brother and I spent a lot of time together, going through dad's things and settling everything that needed to be settled. It wasn't very fun, but we had each other. Just like we have each other now, and I'm thankful for that.

I'm thankful for my wife's family. I now there is a long history of "in-law" jokes, and we're kind of supposed to dislike our spouse's parents and family and dread spending time with them. Not true for me, and it shouldn't be true for anyone. If you love your spouse, his or her family shaped who they are, right? So there must be some good in them. For me, there's lots of good. They've always been supportive of us and our kids. I'm thankful for them, too.

I'm thankful for my health. I'm still here, almost 12 years after I was diagnosed with Follicular Lymphoma, so there must be something to be thankful for there, right? It's been almost 10 years since I had Rituxan, and even though I've never had a completely clean scan, for the most part, I'm a healthy person. I'm not a complete picture of health -- I'm 52, so I can hurt myself gesturing to someone while I'm giving them driving directions -- but I'm healthy, and my cancer is in check. I can work full-time and go to the gym and generally do the things I want to do. So I'm thankful for that.

And mostly, I'm thankful for my wife. She's been my rock. Go back to the beginning of this blog, and you'll see that. In difficult times, she's pulled me up. And in good times, she's shared the joy with me. Our lives are a little different this year, with some new challenges, good and bad. But we face them together, and we deal. Like we've been doing for these 12 cancer-y years.

So I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, and if you're not celebrating, I wish you all a peaceful day, full of things that you are thankful for.