I know it's been a week since I posted anything here. I've been dealing with some stuff.
I had an MRI this afternoon. Shoulder injury.
Last Thursday, after I finished my blog post, I went to a dog training class with my standard schnauzer. There was someone there with a 100 lb. German Shepherd, and the big dog really did not like my little dog. The big dog's owner commented on it a few times, how his dog really likes most dogs, but just doesn't like certain dogs, and mine seemed to be a one of them.
Which would be fine, except this dog owner also gets distracted easily, and at one point, his big dog broke away from him and ran at me and my little dog. (Don't worry! No dogs were harmed!). I moved to my left to put myself between the two dogs, but my dog moved to the right, pulling on the leash and twisting my arm. The big dog decided it didn't want any trouble after all and his owner eventually came and puled him away.
So I've been hurting for the last week or so. Everything is taking more time than I'd like it to.
When I went to see the orthopedist a few days ago, he moved my arm around a lot, and had me try to move it on my own, and had me try to push against his arm in different ways, and mostly reacted to all of these things by saying, "Oh, that's not good."
He suspects a bad tear of my rotator cuff, which is kind of what I figured, too (though I was hoping I'd lucky and it would just be a bad sprain). I actually had a torn rotator cuff in my opposite shoulder about 12 years ago, so I know what to expect from here. Whether that's good or bad, I don't know. But there will be surgery, and weeks of recovery, and months of rehabilitation, if history is a guide.
So, yeah, I'm kind of a mess. I'm looking back at the last year, and I'm not happy about it. I was in physical therapy for months because of a knee injury. I hurt my back a few weeks ago and had to take a break from yoga. There's the whole MGUS thing.
I remember reading a couple of years ago that our bodies go through large changes in our 40s and 60s. (I found the article! It's our mid-40s and early 60s.) So I'm ahead of the curve on both of those ages, with cancer at 40 and a bunch of other stuff before 60. My mom always told me I was very advanced, so there you have it.
Before I finish, a little reflection on the MRI that I had today. It's been 12 years since I had one, and I really don't usually mind any kind of testing. I mean I don't look forward to the results, but I'm fine with scans or biopsies or shots or blood draws or whatever. But I was kind of anxious about this one for some reason. In the phone call to set up the appointment, and then in two online surgeries, I kept being asked about being claustrophobic. If you're not familiar with an MRI, you get fed into a small tube, so it's a very enclosed space. I remember 12 years ago being very squished in, so my injured shoulder had to be in an unnatural position, which was very painful, and I had to hold still for 30-45 minutes. It was not fun.
But this one was different. There was much more room in the tube -- I could lie flat -- and the whole process took less than 15 minutes. It was still awful, but not as bad as I had anticipated.
I think about the advances in cancer treatment that have happened since then, too. It doesn't seem like it, but 12 years is a long time. A whole lot has happened in the world of Follicular Lymphoma in that time.
As we were driving home, my wife said maybe there have been some shoulder surgery advances n that time, too, and I'll do some quicker healing. That would be wonderful. I will hold out hope.
Because hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. (Quoting Shawshank Redemption always makes me feel better.)
I'll keep you updated. And I'll try my best to get back to writing about Lymphoma research soon.
Take care.