From Strudel

Okay, is me, ja?

I want to show you a video. Iss right here.

Is video from this year's Standard Schnauzer Club of America annual competition to find the best standard schnauzer in Amerika.

Thass hard, ja? So many great Schnauzers.

So on the wideo, they show the winner. His name is who cares.
But then at the 2:30 of the video, they show the "Best of Opposite Sex." The winner was a male, so this means they show the best female. This is the one you care. Iss Oakwood Steel Magnolia. She is my half-sister. Listen to her parents -- her dad is my dad too, Oakwood Von Ryan's Express.

She very pretty, no?

But she from that part of the family that iss not too bright, ja? When she comes for Thanksgiving, everyone take a deep breath, yu know wass I mean? Walks into walls, eats the plastic fruit from der cornucopia center piece, that kind of thing. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, ja?

Still, we proud of her, even if -- how you say? Die Panade fällt ihr Schnitzel? She can't keep the breading on her schnitzel? You know what I mean. You have one those in your family, too. Everybody does.

Thanks for letting me write, Cancer Boy. Get back to your work.