Peace

I want to wish a Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate. 

And whether or not you celebrate, I want to wish you Peace. 

"Peace on Earth" is a phrase that is often associated with Christmas. It was part of the message that angels gave to shepherds in announcing the birth of Jesus. It's the one I always gravitate to at this time of year.

I've given this same message on Christmas many times to you all, and it feels like I'm just repeating myself. As much as I want there to be peace on earth every year, it seems like there is less of it. Even Pope Leo a couple of days ago asked the world for just 24 hours of peace. 

And it's not just conflicts between nations, but within nations, too. Where I live, there is so much division, so many people who won't even talk to one another because of what they see as their differences. They can't see that they have so much more in common. That turmoil in the world makes it hard to feel good inside -- to have some inner peace. 

And inner peace is what I wish for us all. 

I'm coming up soon on my 18th diagnosiversary. You'll read more about that in a few weeks.  In many ways, life as a Follicular Lymphoma patient gets easier with time. You come to believe that you really can live a "normal" life with this disease -- whatever "normal" means.

At the same time, 18 years as an FL patient means 18 years of an aging body. I was a young, healthy man when I was diagnosed at 40 years old.  I was running in 5k and 10k races, starting to train for a short triathlon, enjoying time with my young kids, and telling myself that 40 wasn't so bad. Now I'm closing in on 60, juggling three different Electronic Medical Records portals, arranging pill bottles so I don't take the wrong ones at the wrong time, and going to physical therapy twice a week for a knee problem that came out of nowhere. It's hard feel inner peace when you hurt your back just by sneezing too hard.

But I also remind myself that my wife and I walk two miles every day. I had a cardiac stress test not too long ago that the doctor described as "excellent for my age and gender." We're going to the Grand Canyon later this year, something we had planned to do almost 30 years ago. My FL is stable, and my  dermatologist didn't find any new skin cancer the last time I saw her. There's lots to be thankful for.  Lots of reasons to feel some peace.

I try to find peace in the small things. I can always find peace there.

I hope you can find some peace today, too. Maybe looking at the whole world might not do it. Maybe looking at your small part of the world might not do it, either.  

Look for the small, quiet places were peace tends to stay. Go there for a little while. Enjoy it.

I wish you a Merry Christmas, and many, many peaceful moments to come.