Merry Christmas

I want to wish a Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate the holiday.

And if you don't, I wish you a joyful day all the same.

Two years ago, I sent a wish for some inner peace for all of us. We could all use it -- not just at this time of year, but all the time.

Last year, I wished us some outer peace. We lived in a world way back then (a whole year ago) where there was so much that divided us. I'm not sure it's much better a year later. So I hope we can all do just a little bit this year to try to understand others, especially the ones that we disagree with.

I was trying to think of a Christmas wish for this year. It feels like I should be wishing for more of the same. We could all still use some peace.

On Saturday, I heard some good news. Someone I love will get the opportunity for a new beginning. And I started to think about some other people I know who could use a new beginning, too. It turns out there are lots of them.

So while I hope everyone finds some peace, I also know that finding peace sometimes means accepting the situation you find yourself in. And that's important.

But a new beginning is different. It means changing your situation.

For those of us with Follicular Lymphoma, acceptance is a big deal. Inner peace means we have wrapped our heads around the idea that we might be in this situation for a while.

But sometimes that can also mean that we wait for the next thing to happen.  Usually the next bad thing to happen. It's hard to start over when you're just waiting.

I can remember, early on after my diagnosis, having an opportunity come up at work, and turning it down, thinking "If I'm in the middle of this thing, and I need to get treatment, I'll have to give it up and that will ruin it all." I did that a couple of times. And then one day I thought about it. Don't bother with the special project at work, because you might not be able to finish it. But then, maybe don't bother with some of the regular work stuff, because you might not be able to finish that, either. And then I started thinking about all of the stuff that I shouldn't bother doing because I might not be able to finish them. In the end, I found that I shouldn't bother getting out of bed, because I might not finish the day.

And I saw how ridiculous that was.

Peace can mean acceptance. But acceptance can mean giving up, and being at peace with that decision. And that isn't always a good thing.

So this is my wish this year, whether or not you celebrate Christmas. When you are ready, I hope you find a way to make a new beginning. However big or small.

Enjoy the day, everyone. And thanks, as always, for reading.