The Good Patient

 Susan Gubar wrote an interesting article in the New York Times' Living with Cancer blog a couple of days ago called "The Good Patient Syndrome." This syndrome is the tendency to not make trouble with the doctor or her staff, to not stand out as someone bad, out of fear that they won't help you because you're a pain the ass and they just want to get rid of you.

That's probably not true, as Gubar acknowledges. These people are professionals. They have taken an oath to help.

But that doesn't keep us from feeling like we need to not make waves. Even when things get done that there is no excuse for. Says Gubar:

"When an interventional radiologist managed to remove two stents from my body, I didn’t fault the surgeon who left them there to trigger a massive infection followed by an allergic response to antibiotics: I sent a thank you note to the radiologist." 

It's funny how some of us do that. And it's a problem, too, of course, especially if we want to be proactive about our own health. I think it's probably possible to do both -- take responsibility for our own health while not being a pain in the ass. You don't have to be either/or.

Which is what makes this brief essay so fascinating. I'm familiar with Gubar as  a writer. She's a very well-known English professor and scholar, and one of her big contributions is getting people to read historical novels without falling into that either/or trap. Women in novels don't have to be either angels or monsters -- they, like real people, can be complex enough to be a little bit of both.

Yes, just like real people. The lessons here are, first, that even someone who devoted her professional life to getting others to not fall into that trap can indeed fall into that trap herself. And second, we need to be proactive about out health, trust that our doctors will do their best for us, but verify that it;s been done.

With a great, big smile on our face.