Thanksgiving

Each year since I started Lympho Bob (I'm up to four now), I've tried to take a little time at Thanksgiving to think about what I'm thankful for. We cancer patients can be a thankful bunch. If we're around to give thanks, we have a clear number one on our list.

I usually try to start thinking about this post sometime around the beginning of November, and I've been throwing around some ideas. Seems like it's been harder this year. We have a high schooler now, and that's changed our schedules in small but significant ways. Less time for sustained thinking and writing. But a few days ago, my daughter showed me what she's thankful for, and it's given me some things to think about.

Last week, her class has put together a bulletin board of a large turkey. Each of its tail feathers was designed by a kid in the class, and each one lists what that kid is thankful for (along with pictures they drew). My daughter's list:

My family
My dog
Cancer doctors
Food
Water
Teachers
Life
Art

That's a pretty nice list. A lot of it is typical for a 10 year old girl: family, teachers, and dog, for example. I share in her thanks. My family -- my wife and kids, but also my parents and brother, along with so many other rxtended family members -- have been very supportive over the last four years. I'm thankful for my own teachers, too; not just the ones in school, but the ones who have taught me how to deal with cancer, emotionally and intellectually. And the dog...yeah, I guess I'm thankful for her, too. (Which reminds me -- it's been a while since Strudel wrote a guest blog post. I'm sure she'll read this one and insist on writing one soon.)

I like that my duaghter is such a pragmatist -- she gets that from me, I'm sure. So, water and food make her list. I'm thankful for them, too. Especially meatballs. Yeah -- I'm thankful for meatballs.

And art. My daughter loves art. It's her salvation sometimes. Her way of entertaining herself when she's bored, of calming herself when she's frustrated, of expressing herself when she's scared or worried.  She'll make a great artist some day. For now, I'm glad she has that outlet. And I'm thankful that I have outlets like that, too. Like running, as much as that can be a struggle sometimes. And even work -- I like my job, and I'm almost always happy to be there, doing work that I find fulfilling. And I'm thankful that I'm still healthy enough to enjoy those things.

Some of my daughter's answers are surprising from a 10 year old girl. Like, say, cancer doctors. She's had more than her share of cancer doctors than a 10 year old girl should. Fortunately, she's had reason to be thankful for them lately (and not just for my cancer doctor).

I'm thankful for all of those doctors, too.

And I like that my daughter included "life" on her list. I think there's something really mature and self-aware about that. It's connected to her thankfulness for cancer doctors, I'm afraid; she's had to think about stuff like "the preciousness of life" a little too much. At least I have an excuse for that kind of thinking.

A few days ago, I learned that a colleague at work had a heart attack about a month ago. I finally got to talk to her Monday and see how she's doing. She's feeling better, and, she said, much more appreciative of every day. Which was interesting, because she's someone who struck me as probably being appreciative of every day even before the heart attack, so hearing that from her just amplified it all.

Pragmatist that I am, I can't say that I'm one of those people who has learned to appreciate every day the way my friend has. I know people like my friend, or other cancer patients, who contemplate sunrises and the taste of sun-ripened strawberries on their tongues. I like those things, too (especially the taste of a slightly cooled, slow-cooked meatball on my tongue), but I can't say I usually stop and connect those things to cancer, or appreciating things because I know life is short.

I'm certainly thankful more often than once a year -- that's not what I mean. But sometimes the best way to show it is by living life each day, day-to-day, rather than trying to live it moment by moment.