Be Nice to Doctors?

Last week, the Wall Street Journal's Health blog puboished a brief piece called "Do Nice Patients Finish First?", discussing a commentary from a medical journal that looked at whether or not "nice" patients get better care from their doctors.

A fascinating topic, one that brought up some discussion in the support group. Some people talked about going out of their way to be nice to everyone -- receptionists, nurses, doctors -- everyone that they encountered in the office. Someone else pointed out being "nice" should never get in the way of getting the treatment you need, or getting your questions answered. Someone else brought up that she brought treats for the office staff every now and then (something I confess that I did when I went in for a Rituxan treatment).

The comments attached to the article (see the tab at the top) were equally interesting: One says that being too nice sometimes means being ignored, because energy gets put into those other squeeky wheels. Another says a health environment is a jungle, and you have to be aggressive if you want proper care. Still another reminds readers that doctors are human beings with the same emotions as patients, and need a little understanding.

It's all very interesting, and I think the key to it all is to keep in mind what the authors of the original medical journal piece have to say about what it menas to be "nice":

It all depends on how you define “nice” and “better,” one of the authors, Allan Detsky, a professor in the departments of medicine and of health policy, management and evaluation at the University of Toronto. Generally patients who “communicate well, understand their problems, are able to make decisions, adhere to diagnostic and treatment plans, are pleasant and express gratitude for the services they receive” are more pleasant to treat than those who don’t, the commentary says, but the definition of niceness is still pretty subjective.


That seems like a fairly easy definition of  "nice" to have to live up to. Communicate well by asking questions and listening to the answers. Understand your problems and explain them fully. Agree to a plan with the doctor, and then stick to the plan. The being pleasant part can be a little tricky -- we all have our bad days, and we express those bad days in different ways. Bt the gratitude part should be easy -- say thank you to the people who help you, even if they're just doing their jobs. In my experience, inside and outside of doctors' offices, people don't get thanked enough, and if you do slip in a sincere thank you, it will pay off later. (Maya Angelou says that people don't remember what you said or did; they remember how you made them feel. And when they see you again, those good feelings are going to come back to them.)

But the really important thing is, don't confuse "nice" with "passive." Asking questions when you don't understand, expressing your fears, asking for opinions, and even (nicely) demanding explanations is all part of your duty as a patient.You can do all that without being obnoxious. And in return, you can say thanks, express appreciation for the doctor taking extra time to talk to you, and let the doctor know when his explanations have been clear and helpful.

And, maybe, bring in some cookies for the staff break room....