End of the Year Inspiration

I want to share something that was posted by a member of the online support group. His name is Dave, and he has a website called NHL: Playing in the Wrong League. (He's Canadian, and a hockey fan, and really likes that whole NHL/National Hockey League/Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma pun.) It's a nice website; I visited soon after my diagnosis for some hope.

Dave was diagnosed with Follicular NHL in 1989. He called his post to the support group, copied below, "Christmas Inspiration from 20 year NHL survivor," but I think it's a great way to end the year.

Enjoy.

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I was saving this post for my birthday in January but it seems we all need a little picker upper at this spiritual time of year. You get one from reading about my NHL Story and I get one from sending out the message. I saved this post from a decade ago:

HOPE & LONG TERM GOALS
Wednesday, 19-Jan-2000 10:45:05

Today is my 40th birthday. I've reached my final long term goal that I set when I was diagnosed in 1989 with NHL. When I entered my first battle I was told I had a non curable disease that was predominately an older person hardship, and if I was 65 or 70 then it wouldn't have been so bad but being 30 it was like getting a life sentence (and according to the stats more like getting the death penalty) for something I think I didn't do (as in the condemned innocent prisoner, or if I did, it definitely wasn't done intentionally - what brought on my cancer). The stats I could find back then (1990) weren't too optimistic, so being a realist I set short term goals (immediate remission and I mean right now), middle term goals (new job) and long term goals (see the millennium and turn 40), based on the information I was finding. Along the way I adapted and set new short term goals but was reluctant to add new long term goals. I really didn't feel like I had a future because of the nature of the Recurrent NHL Handle (keeps on coming back) and the continuous adventures and misfortunes that dealing with a life threatening disease brings. Today I need to set new long term goals. I'm currently in a remission of 3 years (Peripheral Stem Cell Transplant Feb.18th, 1997 - my more emotional re-birthday - and my longest remission ever) and I'm more optimistic to a future even if it still is a somewhat cloudy picture. Back in 1990 there was little hope to be found, only my determined will to go ten rounds with the big guy if need be - I'm currently in between the third and fourth rounds and I fear the ringing of the bell and would be a fool not to. Technology is progressing so fast and my flame of hope grows brighter each day as new means of treating the disease are tested and approved and the news of more and more success stories find my ears.

Where do I go from here? Well the experience and wisdom of dealing with NHL for over a decade has opened my eyes to the priorities of life, or a sixth sense of understanding as I call it or a greater appreciation of the other 5. Life is a series of up and downs, peaks and valleys, and recently I'm going through another period of my life where I should be down in the valley in deep depression - recently lost my dad to prostate cancer, lost my girlfriend to a new job, and may lose my own job to restructuring. But having NHL has taught me to deal with the pain with a short term attitude, rather than a long term manner and to move on quickly, because life is too rich to waste. It's this same philosophy I will use in determining one of my new long term goals. Being in the best shape in decades (back to high school weight and energy) is also part of this philosophy of not wasting life, partaking and enjoying while you can. Those of you familiar with my Web Page "NHL Playing in the Wrong League” may recall my comparing living with NHL to a modern day gunslinger, living for today because there may not be a tomorrow. This will play a big part of my new long term goal of reaching 50. I will enjoy life to the fullest while I still can and promise to myself and the ultimate being, that I will continue to do good on this earth, by sharing my knowledge and experience. They say life begins at 40 well in my case I know it has!
Believe & Take Care

In January I will turn 50 years old and reach another long term goal. Most people are apprehensive in turning 50 because it is a marking for middle age life. For me I will turn 50 with appreciation because I had a life crisis at the age of 29. Turning 50 still wows me because of the NHL journey I have taken; living though my Recurrent NHL Days of the 1990’s and being NHL free in the 2000’s, but putting up with the side effects and late effects of the previous decade’s overtreatment (Pulmonary Embolus in 2004 + 2009 and secondary cancer Malignant Melanoma 2004). In 45 years this is only the third year that I can’t play ice hockey despite having NHL for 20 of those years (1997 Stem Cell Transplant, 2004 + 2009 on blood thinners) and although I’ve told all my old-timer hockey buddies that I’m retired deep down a goal of mine is to stay not only healthy but in good physical shape until they develop a blood thinner without the bleeding threat. As one gets older it gets harder to find passions in life so I am not giving up yet and it is so important to be reaching for attainable goals to stay focused on what is important in life.

As NHL’ers we are either waiting for technology to keep us alive or while in remission hoping for technology to improve our quality of life. Today I currently walk outside 20 miles a week in the winter and run/walk outside 20 miles in the summer as a minimum and I live 4 hours north of Toronto where winters are winters (lol).Well I might as well stick with what is working and set a new long term goal of reaching the age of 60. I will continue to enjoy life to the fullest while I still can and promise to myself and the ultimate being, that I will persist in doing good on this earth, by sharing my knowledge and experience. For those of you just starting out in your NHL journey I say to you “live your life and don’t let NHL hold you back”. My main regret is not settling down and having a family when the opportunity was there. For those of you old NHL veteran farts like me I say to you “thanks for holding my hand and being part of my NHL Family” you made a big difference in my life and I will always be grateful for that. I think of you all often and also of our cohorts who didn’t make it and a smile appears on my face because we are good people!
Believe-Harness-Heal
Merry Christmas
Dave P.