Here's a link to a really thoughtful piece from Betsy de Parry, whom I have written about and linked to several times before. It's from her column "Candid Cancer," which she writes for Ann Arbor.com, and it's called "Why the Label of 'Survivor' Rubs Me the Wrong Way." I'm not going to summarize it, because I think it's worth reading on your own.
I will say, though, that I am of two minds about the label "Survivor." On the one hand, I think it's probably very comforting to a lot of people who have been through hell and made it out alive -- in an "I Will Survive" kind of way. In fact, when Betsy posted the column to her Facebook page, someone commented that she also didn't like the term because it sounded too much like someone who has survived a war. But that's why I think it's so important for some people. I've seen the stuff that people have gone through, emotionally and physically, and they've earned a label that says they did it and survived it.
On the other hand, the one time someone called me a survivor, it just didn't seem right. It happend last summer, during a class I was teaching. I had made enough references to cancer during a discussion that the class was having about the way people present themselves online that one student, as class was ending, said, "Can I ask you a personal question?" I said "Sure." She said, "Are you a cancer survivor?" I hesitated for a second or two, and then said, "Yes I am."
"That's a big deal," she said. "Yes it is," I replied.
It's one of the few times I've acknowledged my cancer diagnosis to a class. And it felt weird -- not because I think I should hide it (if anything, it should be a non-issue with my students), but more because the term "survivor" kind of implies that the battle is over. I didn't want to get into detail with her about where I was in terms of survival and remission and watching and waiting, but all of that was what went through my mind in those couple of seconds. And if you've been reading for any length of time, you know this battle will not be over for me any time soon. I think that's also part of what bothers Betsy.
And really, from what I know of other cancer survivors (or "graduates," to use one of Betsy's suggestions), you never feel like you're completely out of the woods -- there's always that chance that it will come back, and it's always in the back of your mind. "Survivor" seems too cocky, almost.
That said, I still celebrate National Cancer Survivors Day, and I think everyone who had been diagnosed and is still alive, even if they're in the middle of treatment, is a survivor.
Read Betsy's column. Lots of food for thought.
I will say, though, that I am of two minds about the label "Survivor." On the one hand, I think it's probably very comforting to a lot of people who have been through hell and made it out alive -- in an "I Will Survive" kind of way. In fact, when Betsy posted the column to her Facebook page, someone commented that she also didn't like the term because it sounded too much like someone who has survived a war. But that's why I think it's so important for some people. I've seen the stuff that people have gone through, emotionally and physically, and they've earned a label that says they did it and survived it.
On the other hand, the one time someone called me a survivor, it just didn't seem right. It happend last summer, during a class I was teaching. I had made enough references to cancer during a discussion that the class was having about the way people present themselves online that one student, as class was ending, said, "Can I ask you a personal question?" I said "Sure." She said, "Are you a cancer survivor?" I hesitated for a second or two, and then said, "Yes I am."
"That's a big deal," she said. "Yes it is," I replied.
It's one of the few times I've acknowledged my cancer diagnosis to a class. And it felt weird -- not because I think I should hide it (if anything, it should be a non-issue with my students), but more because the term "survivor" kind of implies that the battle is over. I didn't want to get into detail with her about where I was in terms of survival and remission and watching and waiting, but all of that was what went through my mind in those couple of seconds. And if you've been reading for any length of time, you know this battle will not be over for me any time soon. I think that's also part of what bothers Betsy.
And really, from what I know of other cancer survivors (or "graduates," to use one of Betsy's suggestions), you never feel like you're completely out of the woods -- there's always that chance that it will come back, and it's always in the back of your mind. "Survivor" seems too cocky, almost.
That said, I still celebrate National Cancer Survivors Day, and I think everyone who had been diagnosed and is still alive, even if they're in the middle of treatment, is a survivor.
Read Betsy's column. Lots of food for thought.
No comments:
Post a Comment