My adorable little puppy Strudel asked if she could post an entry on her own. She made a persuasive case: I've mentioned her a few times and haven't given her a chance to speak for herself. So here she goes.
(She asked that I put her words in bold and italics, because she thinks it makes her look strong and fast. Whatever.
Also, she's a schnauzer, so she slips into German occasionally. Any typos aren't her fault; we need to trim her nails.)
Guten Tag. Good day.
My name is STRUDEL.
My name is not Schnitzel.
My name is not Stroganoff.
My name is not Pastry.
My name is not Sprinkles.
My name is not (heaven forbid) Schnoodle. That's the name of an inferior mutt of a mixed breed. Unholy things.
My name is Strudel. I am looking at you, Nicole M. And at you, Scott E. Get it right or suffer the conequences. Weizenheimers.
Consequences, you say? Da, consequences. Keep it up, and I will bite you. Don't believe me? Take a look at these choppers. That's not me, it's Arnold, probably a cousin. But still. You get the point.
You keep up with your sassiness, I'll chew you up like you were a dinosaur. Again, that's not me. It's Stanley. Probably also a cousin. But still.
Who am me? This is me.
Don't be fooled. I'm no angel.
You don't like it? Next time I see you, I'll bite you. Get my name right.
Yes, you, Nicole. And you, Scott. And even the Red Sox-obsessed, YouTube-loving Cancer Boy looking over my shoul
Easy there Sprinkles. That's enough. Go jump on the couch and bark at squirrels or something.
Sorry about that. Probably wasn't a good idea after all.
arf, arf, woof , grrr, woof, arf.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh, you have me in hysterics, you are something else!!!!, Good for you Strudel,,sooooo adorable:)
ReplyDeletexxooChrisitne
nice, can't even spell my name right, Milton High for ya:)
My cats are appalled.
ReplyDeleteThey say, only a dog would debase himself into using the language of humans.
They're refusing to even meow now.
Coco,
ReplyDeleteWell, now we know who your cats will NOT be voting for. And you can bet that Strudel won't be giving them a copy of her book "The Paw-dacity of Hope: Reaching Out Across the Species."
Even my brother was open-minded enough to make an attempt at cross-species communication.
Bob
debase?
ReplyDeletecan we keep these posts in simple terms? I'm only an accountant, and I think I scored 506 on my english SAT's. That was before they started using the slang vocabulary words they use now like "fo' shizzle".
yeah this kind of makes me sick...
ReplyDelete